Dear Diva: I’ve Gotten Engaged… Now What

Congrats to all the NYE, NYD and Christmas Chics that got engaged!!

So what’s next you ask-

1.) Buy lots of wedding magazines.
This is the fun part – feel free to go a little crazy. Spend some time looking through them and tear out things that you like. Tip: Get an accordion folder and file your finds under dress, flowers, cake, bridemaids, jewelry, cocktails, etc. Divine Diva Events favorites are-: The Knot & Brides.
2. Ask When you picture your wedding what do you see? (Other than your soon-to-be spouse, of course!)
Brain storm your ideas and record them on a piece of paper. Include locations, guests, colours – anything that you have always dreamed about. Then, circle anything that is a ‘have to have’ and focus on these parts of your wedding first. For example, if you absolutely can’t get married without your Great Aunt Betty present, then make sure she can make the trip from New Zealand when you set the date! Or, if you have always dreamed of getting married at that Japanese garden, then secure the location (and check with an almanac) before you announce the date!
3. Buy a workbook.
Get yourself a wedding planning workbook. These books are full of checklists and are organized by how many weeks/months in advance you need to do everything. They will make your life so much easier. Even if you are going to use a Wedding Planner, I would suggest purchasing one of these books. You will show up for meetings prepared and informed and you will know whether your Wedding Planner is ‘on the ball’ or not. There are many planning resources on the web as well but make sure you buy a physical book. This way all of your notes are in one place. They also usually have pockets for business cards, brochures and samples.

4.) Decide – DIY or Wedding Planner?
Take a good look at the workbook you just bought and ask yourself honestly – do you have the support system in place to get all of the ‘to-do’ items on the lists done? If not, do you have the time and the organizational skills to do them all yourself? I remember hearing that some women actually take a leave of absence from their work to plan their weddings. I heard this from a bride- “about a month before my wedding when it seemed like I was spending every minute that I wasn’t at my own job working on my wedding. It made perfect sense at the time but I was in no position to afford the loss in pay” Other options: scale down and simplify the wedding (revisit that list you made of ‘must-haves’), hire a Wedding Planner, or elope. You can also meet with a Wedding Consultant: they help you get on the right track but they don’t actually plan your whole wedding.
If you are interested in meeting with a Wedding Consultant- Expect to pay for a Consultation if using a reputable Consultant- or a 30 minute Sales Consultation.
This year we are debuting out DIY workshop to take place in the late Spring. Spend a day with a planner planning your wedding and getting all of your questions answered!
5. Figure out your budget.
At this point, you can’t really move forward until you know how much you have to spend. This will involve a meeting with anyone helping out financially. At the least, have a verbal (preferably face-to-face) conversation – never assume anything! If you and your partner are paying for everything yourself, you need to sit down together and talk openly about what you can both afford. You don’t want your marriage to start off with the added stress of money troubles, or worse, money arguments!

Why Should You Choose a Wedding Planner?

Top 10 Reasons to Hire a Wedding Planner
10. Sounding Board- Wedding planners are a huge creative resource. They listen to your vision and dreams for your wedding and bring their creativity to the process to help your vision come alive.

9. Big Picture – When you pick a venue they often give you a “wedding coordinator” from the venue to help coordinate the day. This person is NOT the same as an independent planner. He or she is the venue’s catering manager and their job is to make sure that everything having to do with the facilities runs smoothly. While they are helpful, they do not cover the scope of what an independent planner does.

8. Budgeting — Wedding planners have been in the industry for some time. They know what things should cost and the difference in value. They can help you navigate the often confusing waters of wedding industry price tags and balance your budget around YOUR priorities.

7. Enjoyable Process – I’ve observed so many brides through the process of planning their wedding and when they do it without a professional planner, oftentimes by the time the wedding comes around, the process has been so stressful that they just can’t wait for it to be over. Planning your wedding is supposed to be an enjoyable process. A good wedding planner helps you enjoy the journey.

6. Mediator — A good planner serves as a buffer in tricky relational situations. It’s a known fact that it’s impossible to make everyone happy when planning a wedding. A planner is a safe neutral person to point to for direction. It’s easier to tell your future mother-in-law, “My planner thinks we need to….” instead of “I think we should….”

5. Timeline — Your wedding day will involve numerous vendors who need to work together to insure that the day goes smoothly. A planner understands how each vendor relies on the others and serves as the team captain who coordinates the complexities of the timeline with all its moving parts.

4. Knowledge Base — This is likely your first time planning a wedding. Planners have been in the industry for years and are experts in protocol, etiquette and everything it takes to pull off an event of such magnitude. They are a HUGE and readily accessible resource for education.

3. Background — In addition to possessing a wealth of knowledge, planners have been in the industry long enough to know who the players are — which vendors can be trusted and who has the best business practices. A referral from someone who has roots in the industry is GOLD when you’re having to place such a high level of trust in those you previously had no knowledge of.

2. Save $ – I have had the planners I’ve worked with tell me that they can actually help their clients save enough money on their wedding to cover the cost of hiring them! How unbelievable is that!?

And the #1 reason to hire a wedding planner is…

1. Stress — The difference in the stress level of a bride who has a professional planner and one who doesn’t is palpable. When it comes to the day of your wedding, the most important thing is that you are able to relax and enjoy it. You are the bride. You don’t want to end up being the point person for issues and questions that will inevitably arise. Hiring a planner frees you and everyone you love to live in the moment on your wedding day.

Brides: Should your wedding dress flatter you for your special day?

Your wedding is your big day. You’re only intending to do it once so it’s important to find the perfect dress. The trouble is, there are so many wedding dresses to choose from, selecting the perfect dress is a bit of a minefield. Here are some tips on how to choose a wedding dress to flatter your figure.

Ideally, you should begin the search for a wedding dress at least six months prior to the wedding date. Some brides even start at least nine months in advance.

There are four main body types – pear, rectangle, triangle and hourglass. Most people fit into one of these categories.

If you have hips, and a waist which is wider than your shoulders, you’re a pear shape.

For a pear shape, the best option is to look for an A-line style dress. If it has a low waistline it will be particularly flattering, but it’s best to steer clear of dresses with skirts that are too full as they will only emphasise your lower half – the half you most probably want to detract attention away from!

Ball gowns are a good bet for slimmer pear shapes but make sure that you pick the right style skirt to avoid accentuating your lower half.

For pear shapes with larger hips, avoid ball gowns, sheath, mermaid or empire line dresses as they draw attention to your hips and waist. Empire gowns in particular have high waists which make you look slimmer and taller. An A-line style will provide the most flattering fit.

To slim down a thick waist, try a puffed out or flared style of skirt to balance things out. You might think a corseted waist is a no-go for anyone with a thick waist, but it is great for creating a lovely hourglass figure. Princess and basque styles are best left well alone as they place too much emphasis on the waist.

Whichever style you pick, try accentuating an area that you feel more confident about, such as a small waist. This will make it easier to draw attention away from your hips. Try accentuating the upper half of your body through strapless or halter neck dresses to draw the eye away from your lower half.

If your hips and waist are no wider than your shoulders and you have little definition to your waist, you’re a rectangular shape. To flatter a rectangular shape, you should look for dresses that create the illusion of curves.

If you have a boyish or athletic figure, try an empire line dress. A ball gown can fool the eye into thinking you had curves. A small bust can actually be a blessing in disguise as it allows you to experiment with different style necklines or pretty details on the neckline, such as beads or sequins. An empire style dress with a seam underneath the bust can be especially flattering for rectangular shapes. If you don’t fancy an empire line dress, a sheath dress will cling to your body and show off your slim figure in all its glory. Avoid anything which is too clingy though as it will only make you look more narrow. You can also look for dresses with full skirts, dresses with jewel or bateau necklines, or wide collars.

If your hips and waist are wider than your shoulders, you’re a triangle shape. To balance out a triangle shape, look to emphasize your top half to stabilize it with your larger bottom half. Try puffed sleeves or even padded shoulders. Dresses with elongated bodies draw attention to the waist and draw the eye from the hips, so it’s a win-win situation for triangle shapes. Skirts with side panels are best left alone as they draw attention to your bottom half.

If your shoulders are wider than both your waist and hips, you’re an inverted triangle shape. The key to flattering a triangle shape is to balance out the top and bottom halves of your body, so you should look to emphasize your bottom half to play down your wider top half. Opt to dresses with few details on the shoulders as they will highlight the shoulders. Simple sleeves are a good bet, as is a simple bodice. To balance out the two halves of your body, choose a full or slightly flared skirt with as few details on the bodice as possible. Details on the skirt such as sashes and bows are good for emphasizing your bottom half. No-nos for inverted triangles include dresses with full sleeves (they will make your top half look even wider), slim and straight skirts (inverted triangles need the skirt to be full or flared to balance out the top half), empire waistlines (empire dresses have a high waist which reduces the space between the waist and the bust, making your top half more noticeable as the eye is drawn to your top half) and low necklines (especially plunging necklines as they draw far too much attention to the upper body).

Both triangle and inverted triangle shapes are well suited to ball gowns as the full style skirt will create a balance between your upper and lower body. Sheath dresses are also a good bet.

To tone down broad shoulders, a halter neck style is actually a good look as it draws the eye upwards and so narrows the shoulders. Strapless styles are also a good idea, but stay away from off-the-shoulder styles as they do nothing but draw attention to the shoulders.

If your hips are in proportion with your shoulders and your waist has some degree of definition, you’re an hourglass shape.

If your hourglass figure is slim, ball gowns and mermaid style dresses are a good option. If you’re more on the curvy side, styles which are best left alone are A-line styles, which don’t emphasise curvy figures, and any dress with a full skirt which will swamp your delicate figure. Bodices with too much detail are best avoided, as are poufed sleeves and low necklines.

Any dress with classic lines such as sheath or mermaid dresses look good on an hourglass figure. Anything with too much detailing can have you look heavier than you actually are.

For other problem areas, there’s a wedding dress to suit all.

If you’re looking to play down a large bust, avoid a closed neckline or anything strapless as both will only push up and emphasise your cleavage. Opt for sweetheart, V-neck or scoop necklines instead. A dress with a drop waist can create the illusion of a smaller bust by increasing the space between the bust and waist.

On the other hand, you can choose to accentuate a large bust by opting for a dress with a fitted waist, particularly a ball gown. A mermaid style dress is also good for emphasizing cleavage.

An important factor is choosing a dress is to remember that the majority of women are pear shapes, whereas models tend to be rectangular. Something that flatters a model’s shape probably won’t be well suited to a normal woman. Your best bet is to try to find a dress that suits your particular figure, rather than just the first dress that catches your eye. It may look beautiful on the hanger but that doesn’t mean it will look good on you